


There is a Flutter In my Chest

by Coffeeteanves



Series: Sliding Into Her DMs [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff, If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, Mutual Pining, Quarantine distraction, SO MUCH FLUFF, Self Isolation, larry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:22:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23501518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coffeeteanves/pseuds/Coffeeteanves
Summary: Keeping up with fans and staying relevant is important to my image according to my manager. So that is what I have been trying to do. I guess this pandemic did not have any sense of timing for me releasing my second album and going on tour. Plus, being quarantined by myself has not been the best for my mental health. I keep having convos with myself and responding back. Besides, in my mind being on Instagram passes the time.OrWhat happens when one of the fans catches Niall's eye and they start communicating through Instagram Live Streams.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Sliding Into Her DMs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1703272
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Keeping up with fans and staying relevant is important to my image according to my manager. So that is what I have been trying to do. I guess this pandemic did not have any sense of timing for me releasing my second album and going on tour. Plus, being quarantined by myself has not been the best for my mental health. I keep having convos with myself and being on Instagram passes the time. 

The first time I went live, I saw a name pop in. They stayed for a few seconds and left. Cafe94. I didn’t take it personally, happens all the time. The second time though, they stayed a little longer and I was singing. Then, they went back out. Again, not unusual, but for some reason it got to me. 

Do they not like me, do I need to do something different? I probably wouldn’t have even noticed, but Café 94 is my favorite coffee shop so the user name stuck with me. 

The next time I went live, they were one of the first ones to pop in, but this time they stayed. My curiosity was piqued and I really wanted to see how long they would stay. I decided to play some guitar and ask the fans for requests. I had learned how to favorite this Café94 so I could see them at the top of my stream at all times. To my surprise, they requested “Black and White.” I quickly obliged and then asked why. . . . . . . crickets. Other fans responded, but Café94 was silent. Then they left the live stream. Mhmmmm. 

By day 14 of this quarantine, I was starting to lose my mind. Why didn’t I just go home to Mullingar, at least I would be seeing my family and Theo, especially. My stubbornness and a sense of arrogance thought that this wouldn’t last long. I Zoomed and Skyped with my mates and besides my once a day run, doing laundry and actually matching my socks was the closest excitement I had except for when I went Live. 

I enjoyed joining Jimmy Fallon and playing “Dear Patience.” Curiously, after I posted the clip on Instagram, I searched my likes for Cafe94. I don’t know why I was disappointed when they didn’t like it. 

I went Live almost daily and each time Cafe94 would join and stay, but never interact. I don’t know why I was obsessing over it, but I had nothing else to do. Really, anything to keep my mind off the current situation was helpful.

I decided to go Live and ask for requests again becoming tired of the typical fans always asking about Larry or One Direction and even going Live was becoming monotonous. My manager did say that the ratings were helping my album sales. Evidence by my number one in Ireland. Café94 did like that post. Why did that make me happy? 

After 15 minutes into my current stream, I saw their name pop up. I wanted to get them to interact again, so I asked for requests and they responded with “Black and White” for the second time. I quickly obliged and when it was over, I asked “why that one?” I was asking them specifically, but other fans responded, but not Cafe94. 

Then, there it was – a response. And what a response it was, not the one- or two-words responses typical of other fans.  
“He gets her and not just paying attention to her appearance; it is all of her that he loves, the colors of her between black and white.” 

I couldn’t hide my shock, I stopped playing for a moment and then another comment appears. 

“Black and white is what society sees, but the other colors are her true beauty, the inside, her personality, her compassion, her ‘swearing’ in front of his friends, :) who she really is.” 

By this time, I sat up in my bed and had a gobsmacked expression on my face. Other fans are quickly responding and asking if I am okay and a million thoughts are going through my head. I want to respond to this person, but how? They start typing again and I quickly read it.

“Some guys see looks first and are looking for arm candy and only what she can offer him, this is about appreciation of who she is and what they can offer each other, that is the I por at part.” 

I turn my head, on that last part. 

“Ugh, important part, damn autocorrect.” 

A chuckle escapes as I read the last part and I wonder “Who hurt you Cafe94?” 

The fans questions are streaming in faster, asking what is wrong. 

I quickly responded “Sorry all, I thought I heard something weird in me flat, this self-isolation is getting to me, I think.” I take a cleansing sigh and continue, “so what is next. What do you want to hear me play?” 

So many song titles are quickly coming in that I can’t keep up with them. Then, Cafe94 replies, “Flicker.”

“Flicker, hmmmm, its been a bit since I played that one. I may need some practice before I embarrass myself.” 

“Sorry, you don’t have too” Cafe94 replies. 

Now, I really want to play it. “Well, let’s give it a go.” 

When I finish, I say “It is not my best, sorry all.” I start strumming some other pieces, not really paying attention to what I am doing, half reading the comments, but secretly loving all the likes.

“I thought is sounded beautiful, without all the background noise, you can really hear the lyrics and your voice.” 

For a moment, it is like it is just Cafe94 and I are the only ones that exist and I realize I am not acknowledging any of the other fans.

I sit up again, feeling warmth spread in my chest and I found myself saying out loud “Thank you for the compliment.” 

I quickly blush and Cafe94 leaves the stream. 

Not wanting to be too obvious, I play another song and decide to say good night and end the stream. 

What the hell just happened? I interact with fans all the time, why did this elicit such a reaction. 

My phone buzzes – “What the hell was that?” I groan, of course one of my mates was watching. I decided to play stupid and respond “What was what?” 

“That, you lost yourself there, are you okay?” 

Haz always knows, we communicate with mere looks, so of course he would pick up on something. I am sitting lost in thought and don’t respond right away and the next thing my phone is ringing. 

“Yeah” I say. 

“Mate, are you okay? I didn’t see what the fans were saying, but something got you and I know there was nothing in your flat,” Harry says. 

“I don’t know, there is this one fan and they have joined my Lives, and they caught my attention, then their answers, did you see them? They caught me deep, I don’t know, but I think I might want to DM them.” 

“What, are you out of your ever lovin’ Irish mind? We don’t do that, no interaction, stay at a distance, what if they are a serial killer or a scary stalker?” Harry says. 

“You’re right, this isolation is killing me, lost me mind for sec, but there was a feeling in my chest. It hard to describe. I want talk to her.” 

“Really? Like a flutter?” – Harry asks. “Yes, kind of a like my heart beats a little faster for a second.” I reply.

“Well, just be careful.” I say that I will and we hang up. 


	2. Chapter 2

A few more days go by and other than my daily selfie in the mirror, and what I eat for the day, I stay off Instagram. I play video games with my mates and write some lyrics and work on the piano. 

On and off, my mind wanders to Café94. I am almost 100% positive that she is a she. I want to interact again without being obvious and then I have an idea. 

I type on my stream that I am answering questions tonight. I hope she will join, but she doesn’t, so I keep things short and hop off after 30 minutes. 

Sleep doesn’t come easily that night and I decide to post on my stream that I am going to go Live at 11 a.m. the next day. I write up some questions for the fans and cross my fingers that she will join. 

I finally fall asleep and wake up refreshed the next morning checking the clock constantly. Going for a run helps clear my mind and I think about why Cafe94’s responses got to me. I realized how she interprets my songs are what I felt when I was writing them. She gets me. 

Feeling better after my run, I make myself a snack and begin my Live stream reading who has joined and strumming the guitar responding to a few prompts. After ten minutes, her name pops up. 

I begin asking everyone to put the flag emoji of the country they are from. Answers stream in, but there is only one I am watching for; soon the Union Jack appears at the top of the screen. Okay, next I ask, for fans to explain their user names. 

“Mine is after my favorite coffee place and plus it is the year I am born. Also, my name begins with a C.” 

Oi, that is a lot of info I just got! Not trying to appear that I am only interested in her, I start reading other fans responses and begin to really enjoy myself. Before I know it, 30 minutes have flown by. 

I decide to ask one more question – using emojis – how many people are you self-isolating with?

Most of the fans seem to be with their families and then she responds with one a sad face emoji. Hmmmm. That makes me sad, so I quickly follow up with “For those of you that are alone, what are you doing to stay busy, I could use some pointers?”

Of course, some inappropriate comments make me have to remind the fans to keep it clean and then she replies.

“Organizing, a little bit of painting, cooking for one (sad face), cleaning things that I have never thought about cleaning. Did you know that you have to dust baseboards and ceiling vents? Organizing my pictures, reading and watching way too much telly.” 

Yes!!!! I think, a little bit of humor, but insight as well. That is a lot of info to digest. 

I read some other fans comments and thank them for suggestions, there were some good ones and decide it is time to sign off. I say goodbye and tell them we will need to do this again. 

Not 30 seconds later I hear a text notification.

“What are you up to mate?” 

Liam, of course. “Nothing” I respond. “Just trying to pass the time” 

“So, you are not trying to find out more info about someone, I read Café94’s responses, she is local mate, I saw your face, I know you are up to something.” 

I huff in exasperation, “Is nothing sacred?” 

“Not with you, a member of a world-famous band, who has dated famous people and just released a new album, who values privacy, has a postponed tour and you’re alone, probably feeling sorry for yourself, so no, nothing is sacred.” 

“You are not my friend anymore.” 

Liam quickly responds, “Just don’t do anything stupid that you will regret. I had to pick you up after the last time, I don’t want to do it again.” 

“I don’t know what you are talking about. . . but a bestselling album came out of it. :)”

“Mate . . . . be careful is all I am saying” 

“Message received,” and I put my phone down. 


	3. Chapter 3

Lives in England  
Born in 94 – so 26 years old  
Loves coffee  
Name begins with the letter C  
Is by herself  
Likes to organize  
Cooks  
Like things clean  
Reads  
Seems to have a sense of humor  
Loves Café 94

Wait, what if I have seen her there? Do I know her already? No, she probably would have said something. 

I rub my face and realize that it is already dark out and I have been sitting on the couch since my Live stream. I need a life, what am I even doing? 

I open my phone and ignore my texts and go to my favorite group chat. If fans knew that we had this, it would blow their ever lovin’ minds. Ever since Zayn left, we decided to have one and now that we are on hiatus the chat means even more. 

“So hypothetically speaking, would you ever date a fan?” 

“Ooi, ooi, what are you saying Nialler?” – Louis

“Ummm, what?” – Zayn, the man of few words

“Not that I don’t want to say no, think of your image, is this about earlier? We already settled this.” – Liam, Daddy Direction

“So, during my Live streams, this user has caught my attention and I can’t get her out of my mind, so I want to DM her. This isn’t something that I am taking lightly, but it is like she gets it, her responses are not the typical responses from fans and she is local, I think.”

I see the three dots as each boy is typing and wait. 

“We lost out on so much of our lives because we were concerned with what others would think and we were under management’s thumb. We didn’t do what we wanted to do. You do you and as long as you are okay with the consequence, forget everyone else.” 

I sat there stunned, first because I thought he was asleep, but second, this is why these are my best mates. Harry’s response was so typical of him and the confidence he has gained since 2017. 

“Thanks, Haz, I needed to hear that.” I type.

The other boys quickly echo what Harry says, they know me well enough that I protect my heart and if I want to do something my mind is probably already made up. 

“Please be careful Nialler, I don’t want you to get hurt.” - Liam

“Yes, Dad” I reply. Always the protective one after all these years. 

“Keep us posted.” – Zayn

“I will, good night boys.” – I type and decide to go to bed.  



	4. Chapter 4

I wake up the next morning and decide to go Live again. I post on my stream that I will be going live at 11 and will do a Q and A again. 

I am giddy, almost excited and hopes Café94 joins. Part of me questions my mental stability as to why I am even doing this. If we were not in quarantine, would this be happening? Well, what do I have to lose, I am just going to go for it? 

Eleven o’clock comes and I start my Live, fans start logging on and she is one of the first ones to join. My heart jumps in my chest as I start by playing “Nice to Meet Ya’” on the guitar. Fans continue commenting, and she asks, how I came up with the title. 

With all the interviews I have done since the song came out, no one has ever asked that. So, I decide to be honest and answer. 

“Well, it is the first thing Simon Cowell said to me when I tried out for X Factor and then from there my mind jumped that it is also what you say when you meet someone for the first time. It is kind of the opening line of what could be.” 

I quickly swallow realizing that I may have overshared, but who cares at this point. Other fans are commenting and then a new comment from her comes up. 

“So, it is not about a one-night stand and casual sex, this song seems counterintuitive to your other songs that show mutual respect for each other in a relationship.” 

Whoa! I may have touched on a nerve, quickly realizing that my response could change how things go. My phone dings with a text notification and then another. 

“Careful.” – Liam

“Go for it as long as you can deal with the consequences.” -Harry

The Irish are never known to be shy, so why not. I school my face and pay attention to my comments. 

This whole time, I realize that fans are kind of jumping on Café94 and telling her to be nice, I quickly skim them and decide to say something setting my guitar aside and walking over to the piano. 

“Let’s be nice, a fan is asking valid questions and I will answer them.” Crickets, it was like my fandom was shook. 

I take a deep breath – “The song is more about wanting to meet someone and then imagining what could be if you had the courage to say those words. It is like you have something in your grasp and then, poof, it is gone, and you realize you should have acted on it. J'adore la mer is a double entendre for ‘I love what I see’ and I see you and I together, but I let the opportunity slide through my fingers and I can’t do all those things with that person that I wish I could have.” 

“You are so screwed.” - Liam

“God, you went there, what the fuck?” - Louis

“And there it is, you are going there. Proud of you mate.” -Harry

I quickly clear my notifications and sit down and see fans’ responses, most ewwwwing and ahhhhing over me and lots of “I love you Niall.” But the one person I am waiting to see doesn’t say anything. 

I hold my breath and then all I see is “Oh.” 

I think I may have screwed up so I quickly respond. 

“You know, my mum taught me to never disrespect women and I never have, and much less write a song about seeing a woman as a thing or object to be controlled and I don’t plan to start now.” 

God, why did I even say that. Well, Management will have a field day. Too late now. 

The fans keep replying saying how sweet I am and they want to marry me, but I am only looking for one person’s response. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful, I just could not understand it. Again, I am so sorry.” 

Boom, she leaves the stream. Ugh. I don’t want to keep going Live, so I play a song on the piano, half-assing it and sign off saying goodbye to the fans. 

Well, I screwed the pooch now, but it gives me the perfect reason to slide into her DM. I want to wait a little bit because I think she may be embarrassed, but I know what I need to do. 


	5. Chapter 5

“So, when are you going to DM her?” – Louis

“DMing her man?” – Zayn

“I don’t know what you are doing, but your mentions on Instagram are through the roof. Great PR for your album, keep it up.” – my manager

Great, if she only knew what I was doing. I don’t even want to go into the mentions to see what the fans are saying then I realized I don’t even care. 

I decided to respond to my mates and then figure out what to say. Subtlety is key. 

Here goes nothing as I pull up her account. I realize that she has everything set to private, but she is active and has lots of followers and follows some. No pictures though and a stock photo for her profile pic; a neutral landscape, pretty I think. 

God, what am I doing? I am stalking a fan, typically it is the other way around. Well, here goes nothing. 

“Hey, Café94, I felt like I offended you today and I wanted to personally apologize. That is not what I intended at all and I hope I did not make an enemy of you. Cheers, Niall” 

There, done, now I have to wait. 

I sit holding the phone in my hand biting my thumbnail, staring at my messages. I feel like a high school boy right now. Geez, I am going for a run. 

I am midway through my run and I hear a ding through my music meaning someone responded in my DMs. Since there was only one person I messaged, I knew it was her. 

Do I stop and respond, I don’t want to appear desperate? I decided to turn around and head back home. Not even bothering to shower, I grab a water and sit down at the table and open up my messages. 

“You didn’t offend me at all and I AM sorry if I came off that way. Your album just really spoke to me and I have been listening to it on repeat. I had a recent break up and it is helping me deal. ‘Nice to Meet You’ was a contrast to your other songs so I wondered. Thanks for DMing me though.” 

Oof. At least I didn’t offend her. She seems to have kept it open. 

“No need to apologize, let’s just call it a misunderstanding. Happy that my album helped you through a tough time, it did for me too, only now everyone knows about it. Lol!”

Lol!, lol! Did I really put that? 

“I am sorry for your breakup. How do you feel now? Are you in a better place?”

I sit back a bit shocked, other than close friends, no one even dares to ask me that, it is off limits in interviews. What the hell, I answer anyways?

“I think so, writing is kind of a catharsis for me. I will always have those memories and there will be moments where I remember something we did together and there is hurt, but my heart is stitching itself back together.” 

What the hell am I doing? For all I know she could be a reporter. Niall, wake up. Stop, but the words are just coming out of me. 

“Same here, my catharsis is photography. I love to disappear off the grid a little bit and get lost taking pictures. It allows me to see things in a different way kind of like love.” 

Okay, not a reporter. That is some deep stuff. 

“That is how it is with my song writing and seeing how people respond to my songs. They interpret them in a different way and it helps me move on. I love to get off the grid when I write too and turn off distractions and just connect with my music.” 

“Well, I have to say, you do a good job at it. ‘Flicker’ gets me every time. I can hear the pain in your voice, same with ‘Put a Little Love.’ I am sorry someone hurt you, you seem like a kind man, I mean you took the time to DM some random person that could be a crazy stalker fan, lol.”

“Don’t think it didn’t cross my mind, lol. But you were the only who asked insightful questions and seem to really get what I was saying, at least of those who were on.” 

Ewwww, was that too personal? Why is it so easy to talk with her? Why is she not responding? 

“Probably because I am not your typical 16-year-old fan girl.” 

“Then who are you?”

“That is for me to know and you to find out.” 

Well, I think she is flirting with me. I have nothing better to do, Café94 intrigues me. When I hear another ding. 

“At least, only if you want to ;)”

“I do, can you give me a hint?”

“What do you know so far? I know you did those Q and As, I did respond.”

“Well, you are in England, I think London, your name begins with C, you are 26, you like to organize, take pictures, and you like a coffee shop named Café 94.” 

“Ah, okay, that’s a lot, how did you remember all that from the Live stream?”

“I told you that you caught my attention.”

“Why?”

Moment of truth right here. I don’t back down from a challenge and I have never done anything like this before. 

“Café 94 is my favorite coffee shop.” There it is, all or nothing. I am either going to freak her out or this is going to work in my favor.

“Really?”

“Yes, whenever I stay at my flat in London, that is where I go, it is around the corner from me. You?”

“I go there on the way to work in the morning when I want to treat myself, I live nearby as well.” 

Okay, so she has a job and likes to treat herself. Good info. 

“What a coincidence.” God, I sound so cheesy. Man it up, Niall!

“It is, I have never seen you there, what is your favorite?” 

“I try to be incognito; you know because . . . , but I love a Grande White Chocolate Mocha with whipped crème, you?”

“Mmmmm, I will have to try that one. You like the sweet, huh? For me, sugar free Thai Chai Latte, iced in the summer months and warm in the winter months.” 

“I have never had iced coffee before, it sounds gross, but I do love my sweets.”

“Don’t knock it until you try it, I don’t like being hot and drinking something hot.” 

“I may have to do that. Have you ever tried their sous vide egg bites; they are pretty yummy too?” 

Pretty yummy, jeez Niall what are you saying? Keep it cool. 

“No, I have not, will have to do it sometime. Well, I need to go. Take care of yourself. Thanks again for DMing me. That was sweet of you.” 

Wait, I don’t want this to be over. Be brave, be brave, be brave. What do I have to lose?

“No problem, I will talk to you tomorrow.”

“No you won’t, but it is a nice sentiment. G’night.” 

I stare stunned at her last comment. I look up and quickly realize I have missed supper once again. This girl, woman, I don’t know, has caused me to miss my supper twice and I don’t even know her name. Hmmm, I want to talk to her again. It was like she was sitting right across the table from me. It was so relaxed. Don’t get ahead of yourself Nialler. Then, I catch a whiff of myself and decide to shower and go to bed. 


	6. Chapter 6

I wake up the next morning to texts from the boys.  
“So, did you DM her?” – Louis  
“Yeah, what happened, we didn’t hear from you?” – Liam  
“What he said” With the hand emojis pointing up to Liam’s text – Zayn

“I did and it was so easy to talk to her, she is 26, lives nearby and loves the same coffee shop I do. Her favorite drink is a Thai Chai Latte. She loves photography and is healing from a bad break up.”

“And her name?” – Louis

“I didn’t get that, didn’t want to sound like a stalker.” 

“Ummm, too late mate, that ship has sailed.” – Zayn

“You got all that from DMing her and you never got her name, she’s got you N.” – Liam

“She doesn’t have me at all, she kind of shut me down.” 

“How? Who do I have beat up for being mean to my Nialler!” – Louis

“Here is what she said.”  
“. . . Well, I need to go. Take care of yourself. Thanks again for DMing me. That  
was sweet of you.”  
“And I said. No problem, I will talk to you tomorrow. And she says - 

“No you won’t, but it is a nice sentiment. G’night.”

And then she got off”

“Dude, she cut you down. You’re screwed.” – Louis

“I think she was trying to protect herself; you are you and she, well you don’t know who she is.” - Zayn

Always the practical one, my Zayn is. 

“Do you all not know about the time difference, GOD BLESS, is there an emergency?” 

“Sorry, Haz, we are trying to sort out Neil’s love life with a commoner.” – Louis

“What are you going to do?” – Liam

“I kind of want to prove her wrong and DM her today, it is not like I have anything better to do.” 

“Then do it, and as long as you can live with the results, do what would makes you happy.” 

“Thanks Haz.” He always gets me, even from the beginning. 

“Keep us posted, this is the most exciting thing to happen in a week with this self-isolating BS. I need to live vicariously with you.” – Zayn

“But aren’t you with Gigi?” 

“I am, and her family, but sometimes a guy needs a break.” – Zayn

“I second that, just be careful.” -Liam

“Aren’t I always, never mind don’t answer that.”

I love my boys and miss them so much. They are the brothers I never knew I needed, but the band had already broken up before I began and then ended my last relationship. Harry helped through it. 

My phone dings again and I look down. 

“Does your heart flutter in your chest when you talk to her?” – Harry

“It kind of does. Her responses are intelligent and she knows what she is talking about. She is not your typical fan girl.”

“Then don’t worry what the other boys say, those flutters don’t happen with just anyone, believe me - I have been chasing those flutters for a long time.” – Harry

“Thanks, Haz, love you, man.” 

Haz just gets it and I appreciate him so much. 

I lay in bed some more and debate what to do. She left it where I don’t have to message her back so I could leave it alone and keep doing what I have been doing. But that is just it, I am so alone. I hate this self-isolating and I want to be with my friends, I want a hug. God, what I wouldn’t give for my mom’s corn beef and hash. Shake it off Ni, the entire world is in the same boat. Don’t go down that road. 

I eat a quick breakfast and go for a run. Before I know it, I am running by Café 94. I quickly stop and look around. She comes here, she came here. Where could she live? There are town homes, apartment buildings, flats, and high rises. Any of them could be where she is, but she said she was by herself. I am thinking a flat. I wonder where she works if she goes to get coffee on the way to work. I circle around and see a few restaurants, cafes, Boots, and a sixth form. Now I am really curious. 

When I get home, I shower and eat lunch, I don’t post anything to Instagram and I don’t feel like going Live today, so I open my messenger and clear all my notifications. I click on her convo and see she is on the app. Well, here goes nothing.

“How are you doing today?”

My heart jumps in my throat and I wait, sweating profusely. 

“Hey.” Okay, she responded. “I am alright, working today, you caught me on a break.” 

“Oh, are you telecommuting?” I ask. 

“Something like that, it is kind of hard to explain really.”

“Try me, what do you do?” There it is, I may not know her name, but I can find out what she does. 

“I am a teacher; we are trying to help our students during this time and figure out what we are going to do since we are not going back to school this year.” 

“That is hard, I am sorry, what do you teach?” 

“I teach in upper sixth form, Year 13s, English literature.” Okay, wow, she is smart and intelligent, not a crazy fan if she is a teacher. Well, hopefully not. 

“It sucks so hard that the Year 13s won’t get to have their final dance and other end of the year activities, or really have the opportunity to say goodbye to their friends or teachers. I have been teleconferencing with my colleagues, my students and their parents to offer them some comfort and try to make it better. They are so bereft right now. They don't teach you in teacher school how to handle situations like these. My heart just aches.” 

“You are taking care of them, but who is taking care of you? It sounds like you are giving a lot of yourself?”

“Well, you have seen me on Instagram, watching a certain singer Live stream, so there is that.” Hmmmm, cheeky too. 

“Ha, ha, glad I could help take your mind off of stuff. So, I was running by the café today and I saw a school, is that yours?” 

She takes a while to respond, but when she does, I can almost hear the pain in her voice. My heart hurts for her. 

“Yes, that's Lancaster, I don’t know when I will go back. They let us go to our classrooms for 15 minutes and then we had to leave, we were not allowed to speak to anyone other than acknowledge them and we had to stay six feet away. It sucked horribly. It was like a punishment. I looked around my classroom with sad eyes and everything was where the students left it, just waiting for them to come back and pick up from the previous Friday. Now, I know they won’t. I grabbed a few items, locked my door and said a prayer that I would be back in a month. That was four weeks ago and now school is going to distance learning.”

Damn, I thought it was bad to cancel a tour. I sit back, she is hurting and I want to make it better. I feel an intrinsic need to make it better. She responds before I can. 

“I am sorry, I didn’t mean to dump that on you. I haven’t really had anyone to talk to that seems like they want to listen. My colleagues and I are in the same situation, so I don’t want to bring it up to them.”

“No, no, it is okay. I was trying to think of a way I could make it better, but I am not coming up with anything. I am glad you feel comfortable enough to share what you feel.” 

“Well, we can’t all be song-writers and singers and write about our experiences ;) There is nothing you need to say, thanks for listening, really. Imagine when I tell my mom that I am DMing a world-famous award-winning singer and telling him my problems. It is a nice escape really. It is like a Hallmark movie in the making. Ha!”

I smile at her response; she certainly puts me in my place. 

“It is, is it? You are definitely cheeky, I like it. Most girls beat around the bush or become really nervous when they speak to someone famous. You don’t sing?”

“Are we speaking though? This is a convo behind closed doors so to speak, I know what you look like, but you don’t know me and no, I don’t sing. Trust me, you don’t want to hear me sing, I was kicked out of choir in primary school.” 

There was a lot of unpacking in that message. I decided to ignore the more serious and go for the lighter response. 

“I thought everyone was allowed to participate in choir in primary school? And I would like to think we are speaking, aren’t we?”

“We are and they are, but they decided to create an exception and asked if I would be willing to play the piano instead. They made it sound like an honor, so I did. My brothers later told me it was because I sucked.”

“You can’t be that bad! I love that you play the piano.”

“Oh, I am. When I would rock my niece or nephew to sleep, I would sing to them. When they were strong enough, they would cover my mouth with their little hands and that is when I started to recite poetry instead and I don’t play anymore except a mean rendition of ‘Chopsticks’ and on a good day ‘The Entertainer’ ;)” 

“Okay, that is bad, you had babies shushing you. I stand corrected. Playing is playing though.” 

“Not like you though. You are incredibly talented, when did you learn?”

“Thank you, my mum taught me before I tried out for the X Factor and then I learned from the band while we were on the road.” 

“That’s sweet, well, I have to go back to work. Thanks for DMing me again, it was a nice distraction and you proved me wrong. Do you do this with all your fans? I didn’t think famous people had time for normal people.”

I sucked in my breath at that, it hurt a little bit, but I should be used to that. It comes with the territory. 

“Touche mademoiselle, I am not like all famous people and this is my first time really.”

“I am beginning to realize that, you are right, I am sorry, well it has been nice Niall, enjoy your day!”

“Wait, can I message you tomorrow?” 

“I don’t know why you would want to, but sure why not. I don’t have anything better to do.” 

Well, she put me in my place yet again, but she doesn’t seem to think well of herself. As I think back to our convos on the Live Stream, I wonder again who hurt her.

“Wait, you know my name, can you tell me yours?”

“Cait, really Caitlin.”

“Niall, nice to meet ya.”

“Ha ha, okay, I really have to go, ttyl.”

I look up again and realize that it is late afternoon. Why does time seem to fly by so fast when I am messaging with her? She is an interesting one for sure, but that flutter that Harry mentioned. It was there every time she responded. 

I make dinner and opened my group chat to the boys. 

“Her name is Cait, short for Caitlin. She teaches literature to Year 13s. Can’t sing, plays a bit of piano, teaches at the school near my flat, recites poetry, has a good sense of humor and puts me in me right place and we are going to talk tomorrow.”

“Well, okay then Lover Boy, why don’t you invite her over for dinner?” – Louis  
“That’s great N, she doesn’t sound crazy.” – Zayn  
“Was there a flutter?” – Harry  
“Be careful, you still don’t know who she is.” – Liam

I roll my eyes at that one and open my chat to Harry and reply “yes.” He quickly responds – “Let me know if you need any advice, but I think you got this.”

Back in the group chat I type - “She lives near the coffee shop we go to when you visit me. She is working really hard, I want to do something to help her, but I don’t know what.” 

“Is the café open?” – Liam “Yes” I reply. “Call them and ask if they know a Cait, and if they know where she lives and have her favorite drink delivered.” 

“You are a genius Li, I will do that now. Thanks, man.” 

I call Café 94 and inquire if they have a customer named Cait that they know. Thank God, the girl on the other line says that they know her and she orders from there a lot. I told them that I don’t know her address, but I wanted to have a drink delivered to her. She said could do that. I ordered a Thai Chai Latte, on the fence if I should do iced or hot. Since it was a rainy London day, I went with hot. I gave them my pseudonym and card number so as to not raise suspicion and I wait. 

About 30 minutes later, my phone dings and I open my DMs. It’s from Cait.

“Thank you, I have a long night of work and this was a nice surprise treat. I appreciate the gesture.”

“You’re welcome.” 

“Wait, how did you know where I live?”

“I AM famous, remember?”

“. . . .” 

I decided to cave, I didn’t want to freak her out. 

“I called Café 94 and asked if they knew you and could they deliver something to you. They did and took care of it.”

“Oh, that was super NOT necessary, but super nice.” 

“What can I say, Nice Nialler.” God, delete, delete, abandon ship, I slap my forehead. 

“Yes, you are, talk tomorrow?” 

“Definitely, good ‘ight.”

Wow, that was close, but there was that flutter again. I sort of like how it took up residence in my chest. 

I open my chat to Liam – “I did it, she said I was super sweet.” 

“Nice one, N. Keep me posted.”

I don’t even remember hitting the pillow tonight. 


	7. Chapter 7

I wake up looking forward to today for the first time since this all started. I don’t remember why at first because I realize I am alone in my flat and we are under quarantine. I shake my head; I don’t want to think about it or go down that road. I am going to message Cait today. I want to give her my phone number so I can hear her voice, but in reality, we have only messaged for two days. I think that would be really creepy. 

Following my usual routine, I eat breakfast and then go for my run. I decide to go by Lancaster, it makes me feel closer to her. As I look up at the traditional style building, I realize that one of the windows is her classroom and there is that flutter again. Niall, you have it bad. I go hard on my run and know my knee is going to not like me much. How do I go from having a jammed packed schedule, preparing for a tour and releasing my new album with interview after interview, to the highlight of my day is running and DMing a school teacher? 

After my shower, I sit down and open Instagram icing my damn knee. She is not on, but if she is working, I know she takes a break around 11. I know her schedule now, sheesh. I like a few posts and read what the boys have been posting. Zayn doesn’t really post, but Louis and Liam had a few things, then I hear the ding and see the notification. 

“How are you doing today?” Flutter, flutter, flutter, she comments first. I smile to myself. 

I decide to send her a selfie, maybe she will return the favor. 

“Looking good for not having to go to work,” she replies. I look down at what I am wearing and it is my normal Nike shirt and Adidas shorts. I am dressed so unprofessional for work, but I did shave this morning. 

“Well, I aim to please. What is your work attire?” There we go, keep it simple. 

A picture of unicorn slippers and fuzzy socks with avocados on them with what appears to be leggings on some very athletic and muscular looking legs. “Party on the bottom, business on the top for teleconferences, with a thumbs up emoji.” 

How is she this cute? I heart it. 

“At least you can be partway comfy, how are you doing today, better than yesterday?” 

No response. I hope I didn’t frighten her off. A few minutes later, her message appeared. She has a big heart, for sure. 

“Yes, I was able to teleconference with almost all my students, it made me so happy, but the looks on their faces. :( My heart was breaking a bit. I wanted to hug them so bad and tell them it is going to be okay, but I can’t say that. They needed a lot of reassurance and I did the best I could. That took up most of my morning. Some stayed at the end and asked me how I was doing, they are so sweet. One of my girls, had tears coming down her face. I listened while she spoke and did my best to comfort her. I wanted to run over to her home and give her hug. I can’t of course. Ugh, this sucks.” 

I didn’t really know how to respond, I had no comprehension or understanding of what she is going through. I tried to put myself in the students’ place, but I had been out of school for too long. One thing for certain though, Cait loves what she does and loves her students. There is that flutter again. 

“It does for sure, that is so kind of you to connect with your students, you must be an amazing teacher, at least it sounds like it from what you are describing. They are lucky to have you.” 

“Thank you, but can we talk about something else, I am going to be in tears soon?” 

Good one, Ni. Redirect, redirect. What is safe? 

“So you mentioned brothers and a niece and nephew, tell me a little bit about yourself.”

“Is this 20 questions?”

“Why not, want to play?”

“Okay, I have three older brothers, two married to school teachers, three nieces and one nephew. One niece is a civil engineer, two are still in school, my nephew is a member of the Royal Navy as a first lieutenant. You?” 

Hmmm, that is interesting. A true fan would know about my life, is she pretending? 

“I have one brother, older and married with a sweet nephew named Theo. I love to spoil him rotten.” 

“Are you the cool uncle? I am the cool Aunt, at least according to my nieces.”

“Yeah, you could say that. I just don’t get to see him as much as I want, but I try to Facetime or Skype. Next question, why a teacher?” 

“Why not? No, really, I have always wanted to be one and I love literature and teaching older students, so it fit. I love being with them on their journey of self-discovery when they are figuring out who and what they want to be. Then, to see them accomplish their goals that they work so hard towards, it is an amazing, yet humbling thing. Why a singer?” 

I quickly swallowed. She is amazing. Her heart is so big. I just sit and stare off in space wondering what if?

“Hello?” 

“Oops, sorry. I was driving with my aunt one day singing and she thought it was the radio, when she realized it was me, she encouraged me to sing more and got me lessons. I wasn’t a very good student, so when the opportunity came to try out for X-factor, I did. And I ended up in a band, and here we are now.”

“Okay, Wikipedia, but why a singer. So, it was the only thing you were good at, but why?”

I sat there stunned, with the thousands of interviews nobody as ever asked me that.

“That is complicated, I don’t think I ever really thought about it, I just did it.”

“It shouldn’t be complicated, when we are good at something, we are preternaturally inclined to lean in and see where it takes us. But there is also something that it must do for us, must fulfill for us to keep doing it. Why do you keep doing it?

“Okay, Einstein, I have to look up some words now, but really, I like to bring people joy.” 

“There you go, it is not complicated, it is simple. I also happen to know you bring people joy. My students were in love with One Direction when you all were together and now, I hear about you all as soloists. I heard one of my students listening to one of your songs and that is how I found out about you.” 

“May I ask which song?” 

“Something about slow hands, I think.”

“You certainly know how to humble a guy. Smh, what did I ever do to you?” I laughed to myself. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to be rude. After I heard that song, I started following you on Insta and then bought your album when you released it. To be honest, it was kind of a calming balm in a crazy storm of my life. You helped me through something that even my friends couldn’t help me through. However, in listening to your songs, I realized you were going through something too and my heart hurt for you. That is how you found me in your Live feeds. I became intrigued. Sometimes, while you were streaming, you would get this look on your face while you stared off in the distance and you looked so lonely. I wanted to hug you and make it better and take your pain away. You were helping me feel better, but who was helping you?”

Whoa, this was getting heavy, heavier than I was expecting. My heart was hammering in my chest. I knew what stream she was talking about. I got into my head a little much that night while I was signing albums. She was worried about me, she wanted to make me feel better. It has been long time since someone wanted to care about me. I took in some heavy breaths, feeling that flutter and realized she messaged again.

“Sorry, I said too much. I need to go back to work. This got deep too fast. I didn’t mean to make this awkward.”

NO, no, no no! Don’t leave me. I am not ready. I want to know more. Who is this girl who is quickly messaging her way into my heart?

“No, you didn’t, make it awkward, I mean. You just hit close to home. I think this isolation is getting to me.” Good Nialler, go for light hearted, change to the tone again. “Do you really have to go?” Bad Nialler, way to sound desperate. 

“I don’t, but wanted to give you an out. For all you know, I am a crazy fan girl with one eye.” 

It is like she can read my mind; she just puts it out there and says what she is thinking. I like it and I chuckle. 

“Are you, a crazy fan girl, I mean?”

“No.”

“Prove it.”

“How do you suggest I do that?”

Here goes nothing. “Will you let me follow you on Instagram?” There it is, the moment of truth. 

“Sure, make the request, but now I really need to go back to work. If you like what you see, message me tomorrow, same time. Bye.” 

I read Cait’s last message and quickly asked to follow her. Immediately I get a notification and start going through her account. 

The first thing I see is her smile, it takes my breath away. It reaches to her eyes and there are laugh lines around her lips. Nice lips to be kissed I reckon. 

The second is her eyes. A light hazel, with a brown circle on the outside that are bright with happiness and laugh lines evident on the corners. She exudes confidence, but at the same time there looks to be an underlying vulnerability that appears in her most recent photos, especially from the last year. I bet that is when she broke up with her boyfriend. 

There are lots of photos with friends and she is always in the center and they are turned towards her, almost like she is the sun and they are planets drawn towards her orbit. What the hell? I am sounding poetic, speaking in metaphors. 

She is definitely athletic, swims and likes to run from the pics with race medals. There are some pics of her with some students, they look at her like she hangs the moon. Hell, I am looking at her like she hangs the moon. It looks like she coaches swimming from the captions, and her team is good based on the pics with medals and awards. I feel a sense of pride looking at these and happiness for her success. 

There are some with her family, her brothers are tall, blond hair, blue eyes. I wonder where she gets her brown hair from? Her dad is a giant, and her mom is beautiful. That is where she gets it. My heart flutters again. There are several pics of her with her nieces and nephew. From the number of them, her family appears to be very important to her. I like that. 

Then there is her photography. To say she is good is an insult, she is great, no she is amazing. What I thought was a stock photo was really hers. The images, the angles, she sees things that others don’t see, she captures the very essence of the subject, whether that be a bee on a flower or man drinking coffee at our café. Did I really just think, our café? I’m a goner. 

When I come up from my phone, I realize it is dark again and I have missed supper for the third time. I open my group chat and tell the boys this. 

“Do you need to go to the hospital?” – Louis  
“Why?” – Liam, ever the practical one.  
“Is it because of Cait?”- Zayn, god bless him, he gets right to the point  
“How much did it flutter?” – Harry

I answer “a lot, she let me follow her on Instagram. She is beautiful, a family person, coaches as well as teaches, swims, runs, and her photography is breathtaking.” 

“You have it bad, dude. You’re a goner.” – Louis  
“What does he have, are sick Ni? Are you displaying symptoms?” – Liam  
“You are such a dumb ass Li, what are you going to do now?” – Zayn  
“Ditto.” – Harry

“I am going to ask for her number tomorrow, she said if I liked what I saw, to message her tomorrow, but I want to talk to her.”

“Keep us posted.” – Harry

“I will good ‘ight.” 

Sleep didn’t come easily to me. While lying there, I realized I haven’t played in two days, or written anything, or streamed on Insta. I am sure a phone call will be made to me tomorrow and I need to call my mom. I open her profile again and scroll through her pictures, there is one where she is looking at something off to the side with a huge smile on her face. I think that one is my favorite. I screen shot and smile as I plug my phone in. I think I may be in love. 


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up on Day 22 on the quarantine with a smile on my face. The only reason was Cait. I opened up my pictures and saw the one I saved from last night and my smile was even bigger. Without even thinking, I opened up my Insta and DMed her.

“Good morning, just wanted to say Hi.” Good, keep it light and simple. When she didn’t respond after a few moments, I messaged again “Hope you have a good day.” 

A few minutes later she made a terse reply, “Tired and working, same time later?” I responded with the affirmative and decided to call Café 94 and order her a coffee again. 

In the meantime, I decided to go back on Insta and snap some pics to post. I want to keep management off my back. I then do my typical mirror selfie on my way out for my run. I don’t know why, but that run was one of the best runs I had in awhile. My knee didn’t even twinge. When I returned to my flat, I showered and ate ready to talk with Cait. 

Eleven came and went and she didn’t get on, I was hurt, but I knew she was working. I should not kid myself, I was a distraction and not a priority and I had no other way to connect to her. She had a real job, things come up, but I was still disappointed. I decided to go Live and play. This time “Dear Patience” seemed appropriate. I answered some fan questions and got off after an hour. She never got on. 

My phone dinged, “You okay?” – Louis, he must have seen my Live. 

“Yeah, Cait and I were supposed to chat, but she never got on, just disappointed.” 

“I am sure she had a good reason, you said she was working. Something probably happened.” – Louis

“That is probably it, it is fine. We only talked three times.”  
“Chin up, mate” – Louis

I spend the afternoon playing some bits on the piano and jot down some lyrics, but my heart is not in it when I hear the telltale sound of DM. 

I pick up my phone and see it is Cait. “I am so sorry, some stuff blew up at work and I just now came up for air. Thank you for the coffee, it really helped. Can you talk?”

My heart was beating so fast and I needed to remind myself to breath, the constant flutter was back and she wanted to talk to me. Okay, I can do this. 

“Let’s skip this DMing, could I have your number?” There it is, keep calm, you got this. 

Silence, crickets, nothing. 

“44 7911 128536” Holy shit! Okay, here we go. I quickly call.

“Hello?” Her voice had a beautiful lilt to it, but seemed full of apprehension. 

“Cait?, it’s Niall.” Keep it simple.

“Hey, I am sorry again. Everything we were working on was lost for our distance learning and we had to start over from scratch and it was so crazy and I could not get ahold of another person on the committee to help, so it was two of us recreating everything and it had to look just so and admin had us jumping through their hoops and my admin was in the middle and she was trying to be the go between and I haven’t even eaten except for that coffee and I am so tired and these assignments are not even counting as grades, so sometimes I wonder why I should bother and then I realized what time it was and I felt horrible and I thought you wouldn’t want to speak to me and . . . I am rambling, aren’t I?”

“I was just letting you get it all out, that stinks that it happened. I haven’t eaten dinner yet either, why don’t we make something together and we can talk?” 

“Yes, that sounds lovely. I guess you liked my Insta then? I mean, you asked for my number. Can rock stars even do that?” 

There it was. 

“Well, yes I did and rock stars can. You appear to have a beautiful life.” What the actual fuck? 

“Umm, well not everything is what you see in pictures, but, yeah, I would say, I have been blessed. So, dinner then. I am famished.” 

We put our phones on speaker and discuss our options. She goes for microwave pizza, while I steam up some rice and chicken. She is after my own heart with junk food. 

“Are you always healthy then?” Cait asks. I laughed and responded that I am typically the junk food addict of my friends, but chose to only stock healthy things during self-isolation. She says she is too, but always keeps some fast meals for days like these so she doesn’t eat out. “I think tonight is an ice cream night too, want to join me?” She is after my own heart. We both discover that Ben and Jerry’s are both our favorites, hers Phish Food and mine Strawberry Cheesecake. 

We talk for hours over anything and everything, traveling, family, likes, dislikes, staying clear of careers and the clocks ticks by without a thought. There is a lightness in my chest that has not been there in a long time. By now, we are both in our beds and our voices are becoming quieter and rough with the want of sleep. Our words more drawn out and before I know it, I hear the sweetest sound of light snoring. I close my eyes, my heart flutters harder than I thought possible, but there is a fullness that makes me feel so happy from head to toe. Little coos come through my phone and I realize that I could hear those sounds for the rest of my life. I quietly say "Goonight Cait." and hang up, falling asleep with a smile on my face. 


	9. Chapter 9

When I wake up, I realize my phone is dead and the sun is high in the sky. Crap, I quickly plug it in and take care of my morning tasks. The entire time I relished the warmth in my chest and found myself smiling. 

Pretty soon, I hear a cacophony of dings coming from my phone. My manager, the boys, Cait, me mum. There is no question who I open first. 

“So, last night was nice, sorry I fell asleep on you.” Shoot, she texted at 7:30 this morning, it is already noon. 

“It was, sorry, I just woke up and my battery was drained. How are you feeling today?” 

“Good, I slept better than I have since this started, maybe good conversation is the key (winky emoji)”

“Glad to hear it, you working today?”

“Already done, you?”

“I need to see what my manager wants and then that will depend. Have to stay relevant with the fans, ya’know?”

“Is that a job, I don’t even begin to understand, maybe you could explain later (thumbs up emoji).”

Good, she wants to talk later. I tell her I will call her when I can and start responding to my texts. 

Louis wants to know how things went and I explain everything. He says we had our first date, but that would not be what I want our first date to look like. Then the other boys chime in, including Harry. We decided to Zoom and before long I see my brothers by other mothers staring back at me. I tell them everything and I see the looks on their faces. They say I have it bad, but when I ask what they mean, Harry asks if the flutter ever stopped. I quickly sat up straight with the dawn of realization that I think I might be falling in love, but it has only been seven days since we started speaking. The boys start laughing at me and I realize I spoke out loud. 

Harry speaks up “I know that feeling, it is real and it happened in less time for me mate, right Lou?” “Yea, when it happens, it happens Niall, don’t fight it.” 

“But I have never seen her in person, what if this is just an effect of the self-isolation?” I ask.

“Niall, what if it isn’t? What does it hurt to see where it goes, she seems intelligent, giving, hell, she is a teacher, athletic, and beautiful, you have nothing to lose?” – Zayn

“Except my heart, except my heart.” I say the second one a little more quietly, remembering this past year. The boys take a collective breath at that and Harry says quietly “That’s the chance you have to take, only you can decide if it is worth it.” 

The boys are right, I think Cait is worth it. I have always dated within my world and to me, she is the sunshine that I didn’t know I was missing. We discuss the next steps and since she runs, I wonder if we can do a social distance run together. Zayn questions if I want the first time, I see her in person means we will get hot and sweaty together. Lou doesn’t miss the chance that there are other ways we could get hot and sweaty together. I roll my eyes, we will need to try for something else. I tell the boys I will keep them posted and we talk some more about how they are faring. We all hate that Haz has to be so far away, but it is what it is and we are all safe. 

I call me mum and we talk for awhile and catch up, but I don’t mention Cait. She does comment that I seem to be in a better mood since we last spoke, but I keep quiet. Next, I call my manager. I have had some offers to call into some radios and do some skits with James. I tell her to schedule them and let me know and I will make it work. Before we hang up, she asks if I am okay. I respond with the affirmative and ask why? She says I seem different, but in a good way. That brings a smile to my face. 

I call Cait when I am done realizing three hours have gone by and she picks up on the first ring. We get caught up on our day and then we decide to Facetime and give each other a tour of our flats. We take turns, alternating rooms and I start to notice some similar things. Her flat is smaller than mine, but the structural elements are the same. Then she shows me her view from her balcony. I look at my view, and they are basically identical. Hers is a little down than mine, but we both face the same white brick building with black shutters. My heart starts racing, could it be? What are the chances? I keep calm and we start talking about supper. We start discussing our favorite nearby places and it turns out she loves Bari’s, a little Italian joint on our street. I do too, we share our favorite dishes and then I have an idea. So I casually ask what her apartment number is, figuring she will think it is safe since I am not asking for her address. We talk some more and I ask if she wants to make dinner together again, she agrees and we decided to call in an hour and now I get to work. 

I call Bari’s and order our meals, I change my clothes, spray some cologne and find the biggest blanket I can find. My heart is full of joy as I leave to pick up our meals hoping that this does not backfire. I find her apartment and text her to check her front door. In the meantime, I have spread out the blanket, and set our food on either side, making sure we are six feet apart. When she opens the door and her eyes land on me, the look of surprise and then the huge smile that spread across her face was worth it. She is dressed in a comfy jumper, leggings and fuzzy socks with cats flying on tacos. I smile at that and think she is more beautiful in person, I could look at her all day. 

“Would you care to join me for a carpet picnic-social distancing style?” 

She nods her head, still with a surprised look on her face and asks how I found out where she lived. I point to the ceiling and say I am about six floors up; I recognized the view and some of the design elements in your flat. Cait is doing some thinking and I notice she bites her bottom lip and that flutter lights up in my chest. “ You are in the penthouse?” she exclaims. I look down bashfully and a little nervous and say, “yeah.” “That is so cool, what are the chances, oh, that smells wonderful, what are we having?” She sits down and so do I and I have to say that is one of the best dinners I have ever had. Cait talks and talks, about anything and everything and I chime in when appropriate, but I become lost in her words and staring at her as her face lights up and she talks with her hands. In between bites, we learn more about each other until we realize we have finished our food awhile ago. She looks up and says that this is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done and the warmth in my chest is there right below the surface. 

“Niall,” This is the first time she has said my name out loud and I loved hearing it, “Why?” she asks as she spreads her hands over the scene. I look at her, not really sure what she means, “Niall, why are you doing all this?” She asks again. I don’t really know where to start, or how to respond, my heartbeat increases and I can feel my face flush. “I like you Cait.” There, I said it. I hear her intake of breath and then quietly “I think I am kind of liking you too Niall.” I look up, “You do?” She nods her head and I so want to give her a hug and kiss those beautiful lips. “ So, what are we going to do about it?” I inquire. 

“Well, why don’t we see what happens and let the cards fall where they may?” She looks up with a big smile on her face and I know I will never get used to that flutter feeling in my chest. Haz is right, it is the best feeling. 

Finis -


End file.
